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    Ryuhi's Call Chapter 1 : Awakening [warning:not for the faint of heart]

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    Post by Guest Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:24 pm

    Okay this is the introduction and chapter one of my character's story

    He is still in the Living world, as a human, in a fictional Living World in years 2004 to 2015


    Introduction

    My name is Ryuhi Cantin, I was 25 years old when I died in the Living World, after being assassinated by the Canadian Government, I was a bit short of six feet tall, and I was about two hundred pounds, pure muscle. This, is my story in the real world, so you can know what made me become the man that I am today...

    Chapter 1 : Awakening

    I am 14 years old, the time of my life where I normally have fun with all of my friends is now, but...I do not have any friends, I walk alone. People could say that I am the victim, I can say that in a while..I'll be the aggressor. They said that my vision of justice was anarchic, because it involved the death of the people not going in accordance to my rules, I counted 16 who would be deservant of divine punishment..

    Today, is like every other day. I am getting pushed in the hallways, locked in lockers until patrolling teachers find me. I do not defend myself, for I know that it would be too easy to lose control over the little few sanity I have left...

    The other teens in my class have stolen eveything I had, my friends...my books...even my money to buy a lunch this dinner at the cafeteria. I am sick of this, It's been 2 times I've seen my teacher about this and she refuses to get involved..She will pay for that..She will do. During Physical Education class..I collapsed. Everyone laughed at me..but during the time I was unconscious, a heavenly voice reached out for me

    "Cantin..sole follower of Justice, do you search power, to bring back Justice to this world"

    "Yes I do.." I answered

    "I am giving you the power you need, you are no longer the victim now, hero of Justice..Awaken, Justice's Knight " The voice then replied

    I woke up..and my eyes were glowing red

    The teacher looked at me, and asked me since it was my turn to pick the activity, to pick something I'd love to do. I picked mixed martial arts, knowing of my newly acquired powers

    The teacher agreed, and we set up the mats, then he asked me who I'd fight first...I pointed without hesitation at the class bully, who was already ready to fight

    I asked him if his death wish had been made, because it would be the day that justice would fall upon him

    He started laughing just like the rest of the class

    I kneeled down and shouted "Hissatsu : Hiryuukyaku*"

    I went up in the air like a tornado and when I came back towards him, my feet came crashing with his forehead (I dunno the name of the weakspot, please help me and edit that) and he fell to the ground..living his last seconds, the girls screamed at me..for incapacitating him, even If I knew he had already died

    I started walking towards the door when another of the bullies got up, he had a pair of Tonfas and another bully got up with a pair of Nunchakus

    "If you want to die so much, I'll make it quick..." was the only thing I said

    I screamed "Masayoshi Rendan**, Ichi : Ryokyaku, Nii : Seoinage, FINAL : Metor Crash***"

    I proceeded to kick one in the air while going from the ground to the air, then threw the other one in the air, and took the guy in the air from the ryokyaku and crashed him Down on the other guy, thus breaking both kids' bones, killing them in the process, while they didn't even have time to see me coming

    "...Pathetic..I'll see you next class" I said, going to the showers


    Once in the showers, I smiled and thought : "This is the ways of the Dragon and the ways of Justice combined, what awesome power, it surpasses any conventional martial arts"

    Ryuhi Cantin started laughing loudly in the showers, while students feared him across the province

    * Hiryuukyaku : Dragon Kick
    ** Masayoshi Rendan : Justice Combo
    *** Meteor Crash : Taking one guy in the air to crash him on a guy on the floor

    Hope you enjoy, despite the violence
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    Post by Emma-Hell Girl Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:57 am

    Cantin, your story has very good and interesting structures. However, I would like to see more details. Like the surrounding, people’s face expression, sounds, and etc. Once you put those down it will help your story come alive.

    However, the character or you have a strong sense of justice but I don’t see moral behind it. I do hope to see a twist on this story on how this character develops his moral. Seriously, I don’t think the 3 bullies deserved to be kill just base on what they did. Just something you might want to keep in mind in your story or RL, sometimes letting a person to be alive can be a greater punishment then death. Death is not that scary actually, it just happens in a minute or two. But being a live is a lifelong journey of suffering. So yeah, hope this can inspire you on your next chapter.

    I am looking forward to read the next chapter. ^^
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    Post by Guest Fri Jan 02, 2009 1:57 am

    Chapter 2 will make more sense to you probably, it's finished writing, I'm awaiting ppl'S comments here to up it ^^
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    Post by Nance Fri Jan 02, 2009 2:30 am

    I love the violence XD. His sense of justice reminds me of Kira from Deathnote.

    Like Moony said, it needs more details. It will be better to see more details on how you killed them, what the victim's body looked like..
    ...like blood gushed out from his body like an erupting geyser. I wanna see blood. XD

    But I like your writing as it is, it's straight to the point.
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    Post by Terminar777 Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:15 am

    I can tell this will end up as a good story, but you have some problem areas within the structure and a bit with grammar (just some missing puncuation).

    When writing a story, you need to stick to one point of view, either 1st person (I/we) or 3rd person (he/she/it/-insert name-). And also you need to stick to either past (using the -ed prefix with verbs) or present (verbs typically have no prefix or have -s/-es) tense.

    1st person only works well with past tense, but 3rd person works with either past or present.

    Example(s): Cantin kicks the bully into the air, then jumps up and throws the bully back down. (3rd person view, present tense)
    I kicked the bully into the air, then jumped up and threw the bully back down. (1st person view, past tense)


    As for the story plot, like Moony and Nance said already, some more detail would be nice.
    Hope this helps. ^-^
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    Post by Guest Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:57 pm

    Chapter 2


    Chapter 2 : Hero's duty

    A year has passed since my killing spree incident, I was suspended three weeks for having three fights, My three lethal blows were dimmed as hits meant to hurt but not to kill, I was placed in my school'S martial arts team, and won the three tournaments in which I entered without much difficulty, and sending a few guys in dreamland. I was declared a league above, and they gave me the trophy at the half-season mark, because no people would catch up with me for the championship

    In school..things didn't change very much, it got worse. After the incident my class saw me as a monster, and oppressed guys were worshipping me, I was either a god or a demon. I was allowed to talk in class, with the three main bullies dead and gone. I started to enjoy having the right to voice my opinion, which teachers found rather interesting, especially when it was about justice...

    As I was getting off my phys ed class, I saw some nerd being bullied by three guys, I got very mad, remembering how I used to be that guy. I decided to step in

    "Jackass, leave that guy alone" I said, while punching the first bully, which appeared to be the leader of the three, a tall, good looking guy, probably a jock.

    The two other bullies didn't miss that chance to come get me, one was a little fat guy, who had to be rich because otherwise he'd be the bullied one, and the second one, a normal looking guy, with mid-long hair, and good physical condition.
    I wanted to get some media exposure this time, so I dragged the fight to the hall, where cameras were catching everything, in case there was a fight
    I kicked the second bully hard in the stomach, which threw him closer to the hall, I poked the third in between the eyes , took the bullied guy with me to the hall

    Once in the hall, the three bullies arrived, and got out their toys, brass knuckles

    "Crap, to think I wont be able to defend that guy by myself, there is truly no justice in this damned world" I though to myself as I charged towards the first one, hoping he'd hit me so the cameras would see him as the aggressor

    "HA, insane fool, charging us three" the bully said as he punted my chest throwing me a few meters back

    "HA, you'Re the insane guy, now I can start fighting for real, since you punted me, curse the gods for your incompetence, now justice renders you guilty, and sentences you to punishment, which I'll be more happy to handle" I told the three guys, who suddenly started looking scared

    The first one charged towards me, the little fat guy looked mad enough, but didn'T seem to have a purpose

    "Ryokyaku" I said as I sent him flying in the air with the ground-to-air kick
    "Senpukyaku" I said as I sent the second guy, the better looking one of the two, on the wall then on the floor

    I jumped to the air to catch the first guy, which was about to fall down after my first kick, and drove him right on the second bully, getting these two out of order in a moment

    The leader looked at me while saying "You're THAT guy huh...I guess I'll just have to go all out, even if I already know the result"

    "You'll pay for your bullying acts, how do you like being my hitch now huh, it isn't as cool as making people your bitches" I told him with an arrogant tone

    "Die, monster" He said while charging at me with his brass knuckles.

    "Halt" I said, while puching him in the face and making him back off
    "Defeat is death, you're that kind of guys aren't you?"

    "Ya, these two aren't dead, and they'll regret this the rest of their days, or commit suicide after losing, we won'T be bullies after this incident, especially after being schooled by a average looking guy like you, a long haired wussy beating us, where is this world going..." The bully said as he tried to get arrogant

    "Haa, are you only hating me because of my looks?, God you guys are stupid, I have long black hair, and people make fun of me because of that, I'm probably the guy with the best physical condition in this town, and yet because of my hair you refuse to see it, there truly isn'T any justice in this world, we can't live free, we can't have hair freely, we can't even study without son of rich assholes trying to reduce us to ashes" I replied

    "It's time I end this..you guys are trash, and I am justice, and now, I will humiliate you, by beating you to a pulp but leaving you alive" I said

    "Haah, arrogant trash, our fathers won't let this go unnoticed" The leader said, while removing his shirt, revealing a strange tattoo
    "I am from a gang, kiddie, they'll get you for this" He said

    "No they won't..They wont defend worthless sons of rich boys, who lost in a three on one assault, they'll probably kill you...Anyways, Game Start" I said to him, while running at him

    "Hiryuukyaku" I said, while going back, spinning like a tornado, and going at him, catching him in the face, sending him to the ground
    "Hm..still not enough" I said as I saw him get up from the hit

    "DIE, JERK" The jock said as he came at me, only to find out I was behind him, breaking his arm

    "Hiryuukyaku..The Dragon's kick, which reduces the senses of the guy kicked, depending on the place where he gets hit. In your case, I hit 25%, by hitting you in the face, the side of your head would have been twice more affecting, and the back of your head is a perfect hit, Knocking you out in an instant, and it looks like it can even kill someone, to my surprise" I whispered to his ear, as I broke his arm

    People started gathering , some even started cheering on me, probably because I was doing what everyone wanted to do but couldn't do
    I saw a couple of oppressed guys being happy, which made me want to take my time with the guy

    "I'll end this now bully, don'T hate me for this, It is justice to beat up the one who oppress the free, if you'D be major, you'D be facing charges now, I'm just giving it to you 3 years in advance"

    "Masayoshi Saishuu Ougi* : Hisami Kyaku**" I said, as I broke his two legs by kicking them from both sides, over and below the knee, exploding the kneecap in the process

    The bully screamed his lungs out, while falling on his back, writhing in pain

    I went to see the kid

    "You okay man? If you want, I can show you how to defend yourself, it'll help you a lot" I said to him
    "I'd need these, please show me anytime, Can I ask you your name?" He replied, in a shaking voice
    "I'm Ryuhi Cantin, and you are"
    "I'm Rick, Rick Smith"
    "Say Rick, wanna come to my home tonight, I'm one player short for the new perfect dark game"
    His eyes started glowing
    "Sure, I'd be glad to, even tho I don't know if I'm actually skilled at games"

    "Nah, don'T worry, we'll have a blast anyways huh" I said as I turned by back to the crowd heading for the other exit
    "Sure, wait for me" Rick said as he followed me to the exit
    I turned back to the crowd to tell them "If any one feels oppressed by some jerks, just tell me huh, I'll be glad to help, this is justice after all"

    To Be Continued...


    Masayoshi Saishuu Ougi : Justice's last secrets
    Hisami Kyaku : Scissors Kick


    Suck on that JK Rowling 8)
    Nance
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    Post by Nance Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:07 pm

    Nice. Big improvement you have there :D

    Hmmm.. He killed people and yet he can still stay at that school?? That school is sick because they should have put your character to jail or something even if you only meant to hurt them XD
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    Post by Guest Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:08 pm

    First, he's not major, so no jail
    second it was during a class, the teacher just wouldn't know the power of Ryuhi

    Anyways thats less worse than teh US Govt training Kamikaze to crash the two towers isn't it
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    Post by Nance Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:17 pm

    I see.. haha so the class was scared s***less and they said nothing about it.. oh. No one would probably believe them..that makes sense.

    Him not going to jail just because he's minor is unfair DX oops I sounded like I want him to go to jail XD
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    Post by Loli Gaga Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:07 pm

    WOOT, so far i'm liking it, (gomen i only have time to read chapter one)

    and he kinda reminds me of kira too, like nance said.

    keep it up!

    am gonna read again taicho XD
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    Post by Terminar777 Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:50 am

    Major improvements as Nance said... Good work!
    I'll be waiting for the next chapter...
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    Post by Guest Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:43 pm

    I am upping Chapter 3

    You'll have to catch up ruru :P



    Chapter 3: Justice League

    A month passed since my epic fight with the three bullies, no one of their gang came against me, and they got expelled from our school for attacking me 3 on 1 for no apparent reason and for their multiple offenses before. The school was starting to be a happier place. Me and Rick were playing the new Perfect Dark game every day after school and after I was done with his fighting lessons, the other day, Rick caught me with a big knee to the nose, which got me bleeding, he was feeling bad about it, I was happy, because it seemed that my lessons were efficient...
    The following day, me and Rick had to step up in a fight; two bullies were on three first-year kids and wanted their lunches. Rick was the first one to step in, and put the first one out of action with his version of the Hiryuukyaku, which he strangely named Rikkukyaku. I was amazed at his reaction time to dodge the second guy’s knee shot, even though by the time Rick had dodged, I had already broken the bully’s left arm
    This time, Rick looked at me, and told me it wasn’t necessary for me to step in, I apologized while laughing, saying I wanted some action too. Rick had become a totally different guy than the no-life nerd I had met a month ago, when I first started to hang out with him. He had dropped the glasses to contact lenses, and started to look like a much more mature man, with his hair combed back with gel in it, making him look like a much more complete person, he started weight training a week ago, and looked up to me as an idol, duty that I tried to honor to the best of my capacities.

    After the fight was over, the headmaster came to see both me and Rick, for our involvement in recent fights were too frequent. He had got word of our motives and was interested in our cause, he looked very enthusiastic.
    “Ryuhi, Rick, I know of your motives and I think it is a good cause, but, fighting is fighting, and I don’t want it in my school, unless you would accept my proposition” He said, very seriously
    “What is that proposition of your Headmaster?” I replied
    “It is very simple gentlemen. I wish to create a corps of model students who would assure peace in the hallways during recess periods and during lunchtime. I looked at both your grades, you are model students in class, and your recent involvement in the last 12 fights this month shows me that you also have good fighting records.” The headmaster said
    Rick immediately replied
    “We accept”
    I looked at Rick, and said
    “I’m in too, Headmaster, could we have some more people of my picking, as well as armbands to identify ourselves in the hallways?”
    “Sure, you give me the names of those people, our sports teachers are going to train them if they need it” The Headmaster replied
    “Nah..we’ll train them ourselves, I trained Rick, and look at the man he’s become” I replied
    “Okay Ryuhi, just give me the names, alright” The headmaster said as he headed off
    I looked at the three first-years, and asked them a question
    “Are you joining us on this? You’ll be the ones who make the rules now, you won’t be bullied, and nobody will be able to piss you off anymore, since you’ll be in direct relation with the Headmaster. If you’re in, shout your names out”
    The guy in the middle looked at me and shouted: “Hayato Iwasa”
    “Nice to have you on Hayato, after tonight, you’ll be a different man, any other people interested?”
    The guy on the left, a little plump kid shouted “Mark Taylor”
    And finally, after a long hesitation, the guy on the right, a tall skinny guy shouted “Wiler James”
    After hearing their names I had only one thing in mind, I was the happiest man on earth, and Rick shared that happiness with me, for we had been fighting for the same cause.
    “Tonight, everyone at my house, we have training as well as a Perfect Dark tournament gentlemen” I said, with a huge smile on my face
    The three first-years went to their courses and Rick stayed with me
    “Rick, we are Justice now, any thought on the thing we should put on our arm bands?”
    “Yak, we are the Justice League” Rick said, with a smile just as large as mine.

    Suck on that JK Rowling 8)
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    Post by Guest Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:25 am

    I'm getting this back up, because I have now 12 chapters written or so, and wish to know if you would read them, or not..
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    Post by Hinamori44 Wed Apr 08, 2009 9:56 pm

    YEAH WE WOULD LIKE TO READ ALL OF THEM, CANTIN!

    Lol this thread is dead O_o...

    Please :D...could you post it all? you´re talented and this story rocks...-_-...I read just the first chap,,,but give me 5 min and I´ll read it all XD ahaha
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    Post by Guest Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:10 pm

    On my beloved Mazi's request, here is chapter 4 ^^

    Chapter 4 : Justice League Part 2 : Introduction
    Today is the day, me and Rick have trained Mark, Wiler and Hayato for a month now, and we are ready to undertake the task that the headmaster gave us. The headmaster has requested that everyone in the school goes to the hall, so that they could meet the new staff members, us.
    I came in the hall with the headmaster a few hours before the announcement’ scheduled time. We talked about the terms of it, the conditions for us to actually go fight, and the extent of our authority over other students. Everything was settled, and we were waiting for the announcement to be made public.
    Once in the hall, the headmaster thanked everyone for being present, and informed everyone of the knew staff corps, known as the Justice League, led by me, with my 4 subordinates as members of the League. During the time I was making the acceptance speech, there was this real beauty looking at me, like she wanted me...I had difficulty concentrating on my speech because all that was on my mind now was to go talk to her, and get to know that girl.
    I finished the speech, and the teachers applauded us, for undertaking a task which would guarantee us the dislike of all the normal students. Headmaster gave recess in advanced since the announcement was during class. I sprinted off to try to find that girl in the crowd.
    To my happiness, she was also looking for me, and reached out for my arm while I was looking for her in the crowd.
    “So, it looks like you’re the next big thing huh?” She said to me
    “Ya, looks like it...And you are?” I asked
    “I’m Hayato’s Sister, Yuka Iwasa” She said while smiling at me
    My eyes opened wide in amazement
    “Nice to meet you Yuka, You should be proud of your brother, he’s the one who progressed the most out of my three new pupils, Wiler was outstanding too, but Hayato was the most naturally gifted of the three.” I said, with my eyes slowly going back to their normal size
    “What do you mean Cantin, you’re talking of my brother as if you’re some sort of leader or something..Who do you think you are” She said, with a sad tone
    “I’m the one who got in to prevent your bro from getting his lunch picked every single day he is in this school” I replied firmly
    “Anyways, I guess I have to thank you on behalf of my parents for that, they were so sad seeing Hayato come back whining about him getting bullied everyday...”
    I didn’t know what to think, sure, being bullied is hard, it ain’t the pink life everyone dreams about. I thought Yuka was pretty but I didn’t know how to tell her. I was never so close to a girl before, they were avoiding the rejects.
    I tried to go with a loose approach
    “Say, you look great today Yuka..” I said, while blushing a bit
    Yuka blushed a lot
    “Thanks..You’re probably the only one who’ll say that...” She said, her face going down
    “You free tonight?” I asked
    “Ya, I am”
    “Would you go out with me. I can take you to the movies”
    Yuka blushed even more than before
    “You’d do that..Really?” She said, with sparkling eyes
    “Sure, assuming you’re single”
    “Like I’ll refuse something asked so nicely by such a handsome man..Sure, you come by my house after your training with the League”
    “Ya, I’ll walk home with your brother, he’ll show me the way”
    “I’ll see you tonight, handsome” Yuka said, smiling and visibly happy to be going out with me tonight
    ------------------------------
    At training, Hayato was surpassing Wiler by a greater split than usual, they used to be on each other’s tail when it came to improvement but tonight, Hayato was visibly not himself.
    “Hayato, What’s up, you’re not your usual self tonight, you aren’t the calm man you have used us to..”
    “I’m just, trying to get better than everyone, are you against that?”
    “No..Say, mind if I go with you to your home tonight..”
    “Na, my parents will be glad to meet you, I assume sis will be overjoyed, too. You are a hero to them, as much as you are to me. You have got us out of hell, you gave us heaven, I thank you for that”
    “I didn’t give you heaven, I have shown you the way, your training gave you acceptance in heaven” I said, with a godly tone
    Hayato continued to train hard that night, Wiler and Mark miles behind him.
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    Post by Hinamori44 Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:10 pm

    haha this story is better and better XD

    I love your ease of writing...it´s a great story...wanna see more ^^
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    Post by Guest Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:22 pm

    Here you are :D

    Chapter 5 : A new beginning, or two?
    As we arrived to Hayato’s house, he presented me to his parents, after Yuka tackled glomped me that is...His parents were really nice people, and really respectful of me for helping Hayato, which was seemingly embarrassed. I didn’t let him be embarrassed too long, since me and Yuka had a date planned.
    Me and Yuka left, and headed for the movie theatre. Yuka put her arm around my midsection as soon as we couldn’t be seen by her parents, whom to her sayings, didn’t want their girl to have her man
    “Did I tell you you were handsome during your acceptance speech”
    “Not yet..Thanks for the remark.”
    “I’m happy you asked me out, I wouldn’t have had the guts to do it...”
    “That’s why I’m here” I said as I put my arm on her shoulders
    As we arrived to the theatre, I quickly went to the ATM, to get some money for the movies and the popcorn. Yuka wasn’t a huge fan of it, so we took nachos...poor her, they won’t last very long hehe...Yuka decided on the movie, I was prepared for a shock, like the newest love movie or something emotional like that. I was amazed to see her choice, a fictional movie which apparently talked about reincarnation or something, The title was Bleach : Memories of Nobody...
    Yuka couldn’t stop holding my hand during the movie while I, huh..well..couldn’t stop holding the nachos and the sodas. The movie talked about a young human...Kurosaki Ichigo, who was a shini-something like that and helped the others shini-somethingy to slay hollows..That’s what I understood of the movie. There was that girl named Senna who died, she annoyed me, but Ichigo looked like he had a crush on her. I saw a girl in the bad guys get killed in two hits by a small woman, who looked mad...It was a bizarre but really fun movie
    As we got out of the theater, Yuka tripped and I caught her before she could fall on the ground and hurt herself. Then we had this stare...As I helped her up she got closer and closer to me...she got her hands on both my shoulders, she closed her eyes...We were just about to have our first kiss when something that sounded like an explosion happened.
    Yuka hugged me really hard, she was scared to death by the explosion, which was not far from us.
    And then...I heard that horrible scream, that sounded like one of those beasts in the movie... When I took a look in the perimeter, I saw a huge, masked beast, it was about eight feet tall, shaped like a monster, probably proportional to the fox-headed captain in the movie. I also saw a man, wearing a black shihakusho fighting each other. Yuka came close to me, and wondered why I was speechless. She couldn’t see them. Why was this happening? Why now? Yuka tried to make me come to her senses when a huge pressure came, from the man in black, probably. Yuka collapsed. I took her on both my shoulders, and walked slowly closer to the fight.
    -------------------------
    The man in black saw me get near with Yuka, and immediately screamed
    “Leave this place at once, I’ll take care of it”
    The man was a young one, a weak looking guy, not very tall too. Probably fifteen years old, like me and Yuka. When he turned back to the creature, it was already too late, he had lost his left arm, cut by that monstrosity. He was agonizing, I couldn’t help but to get myself involved and try to save him.

    When I got near the creature, it slapped me with the back of his hand, propelling me meters away. I crashed on the restaurant near the fight, I was bleeding from the nose, like everytime I got hit on the nose. I was still in good shape. Much better than the kid in dark clothes. From what I could see, he was still standing up, holding his sword with one hand, and laughing maniacally.
    “Haha...don’t think I’ll die that easily...” The guy shouted, with a freakish smile, almost as if he was enjoying himself.
    The creature took his swing, and was about to finish the dark clothed guy off, when suddenly, the guy shot a white lighting jolt form his remaining hand.
    The creature screamed again. I started running to go help the guy, he was probably going to get killed by the creature’s next accurate hit. The creature took Yuka in his arms
    “SON OF A B****, DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THE GIRL I LOVE” I screamed, as I went straight at him, running the 100 meters between us in seven seconds.
    “Masayoshi Saishuu Ougi : Hisami Kyaku”
    I landed, just besides the creature’s falling arm. I was at the exact spot where Yuka fell, in my arms..I took a walk to go see the guy, and told him to take care of her, while I took care of his creature problem.
    What happened after was hard to understand. The guy put both my hands on his sword, aimed it at my heart.
    “What are you doing, you want to kill me ?!?” I said, really confused
    “Do you want powers?” He replied
    “Hell yeah I do, why?”
    “If I stab you, you will have shinigami powers, don’t waste your time, and just help me thrust my sword in your heart”
    I did what he told, and I felt nothing, until I suddenly got back to reality. I was in the same black clothes as the guy, however, I was holding a much longer sword in my hands. It was about four feet long, and a few inches wide. It’s guard was shaped like a hammer, making it perfect to be used like a tonfa, which strangely, was a weapon I had practised using in my youth.
    “Let the fun begin, asshole” I said as the creature came at me, desperately trying to finish it’s job.
    I jumped in the air, and got my sword’s scabbard in my hand, to shield me from attacks. I swung my sword down to his face, which was covered by his mask. I landed on the ground, and the creature vanished, while letting out a horrible scream.
    “What am I...” I asked the laying guy
    “You have become a shinigami, Your job is to kill these creatures, and send human souls to soul society”
    “Huh..that’s just like in that weird movie”
    “It..is..real...I think I won’t be around longer..” The laying guy said
    “Don’t die, how can I know there’s one around?”
    The guy gave me his cell phone, and then, he died
    Yuka woke up, and saw me, back to normal
    “What happened?” She asked me as I got close to her
    “Nothing..happened..let’s go back home”
    When we got back at Yuka’s house, she seemed hesitant to let me go, like she was waiting for something. I hugged her, and when we both got face to face. I kissed her.
    “I’ll see you tomorrow baby” I said, while running back to my house, and covering my eye with my hair, because of the bruise starting to appear from the hit of that hollow earlier tonight.
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    Post by Hinamori44 Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:16 pm

    haha Yuka is so crazy,, she rocks :P...

    Now post another one XD
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    Post by Guest Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:21 pm

    Here :D

    Chapter 6 : New Times
    The following takes place in Soul Society, during Ryuhi’s encounter with the hollow
    [
    “Mayuri-sama, we have a problem, 9th Division 19th seat Shinsuke Nakajima is in critical condition, and is about to be defeated.”
    “I don’t care Nemu, everyone knows that if you are defeated by hollows, it’s because you weren’t fit to be a shinigami in the first place”
    “Hold on Mayuri-sama, there seems to be a human trying to help him, even if Nakajima already has lost an arm..”
    *Nemu sees the Hisami Kyaku*
    “Mayuri-sama, it would seem this kid is spiritually aware. He has just kicked the hollow’s arm, chopping it in the process. Nakajima appears to be a goner...WHAT..”
    “Nemu what is it”
    *They witness Ryuhi becoming a shinigami*
    “Nemu, get me Hisagi, he needs to be aware of this, especially if Nakajima gets desperate to the point where he must give a human his powers...I was so happy we got through with that Orange headed guy. Substitutes are so much trouble”

    ]
    It’s been a week since I’ve become a shinigami, I’ve received a call from a guy, whose name was Hisagi Shuhei. He told me about Soul Society, the Hollows, my new powers, as well as my new duties. He also told me I was unseated...I wondered how he knew I couldn’t find a seat at the cafeteria that time..He talked about him being the captain of the 9th division in the Seireitei or whatever he called it. He told me to go see the candy shop in town, the man there, even if somewhat bizarre would help me, he said that man knew about me, and he could help me.
    I was at school when that nice crappy little thing rang again. I hurried to the washrooms and picked up there.
    “Yo..” I said
    “Ryuhi, this is Hisagi” the voice said
    “I figured that out already, you the only one who can call this phone duh”
    “Idiot, now’s not the time, I have to come and see you, the Head Captain said it had to be done, what are you doing now”
    “I’m pooping...”
    “I didn’t want to know that kid, When you free?”
    “Tonight, I don’t have a date, nor do I have training, When are you gonna come?”
    “10 past 7, be ready by then, I’ll put a red sticker in your window”
    “Ok then..I guess I’ll be waiting”
    “I’ll see you tonight Ryuhi..Do not be frightened by my appearance.”
    The phone hooked up. I got out of the bathroom, and Yuka was waiting for me.
    “Shouldn’t you be in class honey”
    “Ryu, that’s my line. Everyone knows that because of the justice league you got special permissions”
    “Yeah, but my grades are top-notch, unlike everyone I know..”
    “You sure know how to be a jerk when you want” Yuka said as she got near me and kissed me
    “I’ll see you at recess babe”
    “Ya, go back to class Ryu, I’m serious about that” She said as she went back to her classroom
    “Yes...your..highness” I said with my eyes pointing to the sky.
    --------------
    Supper time..Yuka gave me the speech of a lifetime before romantically kissing me in front of the whole school, like she does everyday. Everybody follows our couple like we’re a sitcom on TV. It amuses me a lot, since I’m kind of the hotshot now, every girl is mad at me for dating Yuka, and everyman is envious of my girlfriend. That’s kind of them, Yuka wasn’t known by anybody before dating me, I wasn’t anyone before killing three guys and beating the shit out of three more. That’s quite the weird couple.
    “Ryu, you coming already? Supper’s served for 10 minutes now”
    “Ya dad, just calm down seriously, you’ll have a heart attack from your lifestyle soon..”
    “Just shut up and come down”
    “Sure, I’m coming Suzaku”
    “It’s dad for you dumbass”
    He’s been that way since mom died, a year before my killing spree, he was the best husband a woman could ever desire. I don’t know what happened to my mom that day. I wish it could get more clear to me, but it looks like I’ll never find out..
    “Seriously dad, you’re way too stressed since mom’s dead, you should stop coffee and sleep at decent hours”
    “Shut up..she’s dead, nothing will bring her back. Not even me, not even you, say Ryu..when did you become a shinigami?”
    My eyes opened upon hearing that word, how come my dad knows about them.
    “I became a shinigami a week ago, while on my date with Yuka. How come you know about them Dad?”
    “Because I am a shinigami too, son, and it looks like my Captain will be coming to see you tonight”
    “What ?!? Hisagi is your Captain?”
    “Yup, for the last hundred years, I have been serving as the 9th Division’s Vice-Captain, twenty years ago, the head captain decided to send me to the real world, since he wanted to have someone who could react quickly to the conflict at hand. I established myself, and eventually I had a child with my wife, that kid is you. Ryuhi.”
    “So I assume you’ll welcome him into the house”
    “Sure..Don’t mention anything about his different appearance, the captain has a strong sense of justice, and physical differences are part of that justice, which I follow too”
    I hear a noise of something crashing on my window
    “That’s his signal. He’s here, I’m going to greet him” I said to my dad
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    Post by Guest Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:14 pm

    To make Hina happy I'll add another one so she'll have time to read two of em :P


    Chapter 7: To kill you is my job

    As I heard the signal, I went outside with my dad, and saw a man, wearing a white haori, with the standard shinigami uniform under. When I looks at his face, I understood what my dad meant about different appearance. The guy had short, spiky black hair, had a collar tattoo on his neck as well as one on his arm, he had the number 69 tattooed under his left eye, a grey tape going from below his left eye, over the 69 tattoo to the right end of his nose, he also had three scars on his right eye. This was my dad’s Captain, Hisagi Shuhei.
    “Yo, Ryuhi, Suzaku-fukutaicho” He said, with a calm but firm tone.
    “Captain, it’s been a long time” My dad replied
    “Yeah, it sure has been, so, this offspring of yours became a shinigami..what are the odds of this happening, you’ll never stop surprising me Suzaku”
    “Like it’s my doing if my son became a shinigami..”
    “Ya, I know this..Now, on to more serious manners..Ryuhi, it’s a good thing that your father is a shinigami, he will be able to explain your job and assist you with your training. You will have to report to me in one month, in Soul Society. The Captain Commander has great expectations about you, knowing how your dad always did better than everyone as a shinigami.”
    “Uhh...Okay then, CAPTAIN WATCH OUT” I said, as I tackled him
    A light blue arrow would have gotten my captain if I wouldn’t have tackled him
    “What the hell, one of them is here ?!? Suzaku, prepare yourself” He said, as he hit my dad with a metal plate in his hand.
    My dad was now a shinigami, with his real body standing on the ground, without any soul in it. Hisagi then did the same for me
    A man whose appearance reminded me of someone came walking towards us, with a light blue bow in his hand.
    “Well, well, a shinigami Captain, his Lieutenant as well as a shinigami kid, who strangely remind me of a friend of mine.” He said, still walking towards us
    “Quincy filth in here..I thought we had them all wiped out with Uryuu having died a few years ago, it looks like we aren’t through with these guys just yet.” Hisagi said
    “You thought that daddy Uryuu and grandpa Ryuuken didn’T leave their race in good hands ? You must seriously be retarded, shinigami. How dare you call us filth, it’s that old Yama who tried to eradicate us after all.”
    “Don’t insult Genryuusai-sama, the Captain Commander exterminated your kind so the balance of souls would stay right, with you guys just killing hollows instead of purifying them. Why would you attack us just now, who are you anyways, your bow looks basic enough, and your arrows miss killing intent” Hisagi said to the Quincy
    “Allow me to introduce myself properly, Ryuhi already knows me, he just didn’T know my secret, as much as I didn’t knew his. I am... Hayato Iwasa..the survivor of the Quincy, and the man who will kill you, for killing my ancestors, as well as getting rid of my dad, now prepare yourself Ryuhi, say goodbye to my sister, because as of now, she will never see you again, unless she goes to see your grave.”
    Hayato charged towards me, which troubled me because he had a bow in his hand
    “Die, Ryuhi, Hiryuukyaku” he said, as he started flying towards me, just like I used to do it so well.
    “What..Hiryuuk..crap” I said, jumping out of the way, slashing at his upper body.
    “I should have guessed that by using Hiryuukyaku against you, the hit rate would be of 0%”
    “Bakudo no Roku juu Ichi : Rikujokoro” Hisagi said, shooting six rods of light at Hayato, trapping him
    “We’ll let you live Quincy, don’t attack us again” Captain said, leaving without being seen
    “Dad, I’m going to see my girlfriend, I’ll be back in a few hours”
    “Alright Ryu, be careful”
    “Don’t leave me here asses, I’ll get you for this” Hayato said, trapped in the middle of the street

    Enjoy, cause there are 9 more chapters waiting for ya
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    Post by Hinamori44 Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:43 pm

    Yay...double post?....I can´t complain XD...

    Ryuhi´s dad is lucky person XD...waiting for another one...*thumbs up*
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    Post by Guest Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:09 pm

    Here you are hun

    Chapter 8 : Broken Hearts
    This was the worst case scenario...After my date with Yuka, we ran into Hayato, who had broke free of Hisagi’s Rikujokoro, probably because of the distance between the two at the time, with Hisagi going back to soul society.
    “I’ll kill you Ryuhi...” He said, very angrily
    “Bring it on..I want to see how has my pupil got up in strength, how about we make this a no weapon fight, this way we’ll truly see who the best fighter is...” I replied, preparing my Muay Thai stance
    Hayato quickly ran towards me, trying several kicks in the process, I dodged them all tripping him at the end of a high-low kick combination that connected.
    Hayato didn’t waste one second down, seeing my feet coming to his chest, he rolled over to his right before jumping back to his footing.
    “Weren’t you in your Muay Thai stance? What the hell is wrong with you, switching to Kung Fu like that?? “ He asked
    “Actually you got mistaken twice...I switched to Kung Fu as soon as you attacked, then I switched to Judo, to try a counter attack before switching back to Kung Fu for the combination”
    “Hayato, it looks to me like you still have a long way to go before you actually get at a level near mine without me even using Dragon of Justice’s techniques”
    “You guys just stop this nonsense” Yuka shouted
    “What do you hate so bad about Ryuhi, Ever since we started dating, you hated him like he killed something important. You know that he won’t be able to bring back Uryuu, no matter how you try to do that. I know that our stepfather will never replace Uryuu, but face it, you’re a Quincy. You must protect the people in here, including Ryuhi, even if he is a shinigami”
    My eyes opened wide when I heard that sentence
    “Yuka, when did you realize it...I thought you couldn’t see them...”
    “On that night, I purposely fell unconscious to make sure you were manly enough to protect me...I witnessed everything. The Hisami Kyaku, and the worst of it, my man becoming a shinigami”
    “Why is this the worse part...I can protect you against everything now...I don’t understand”
    At that moment, Yuka reached for the pocket in her pants, and got out a Quincy cross from inside
    “WHAT...is..this thing..please don’t tell me, it’s a Quincy cross”
    “I am sorry Ryuhi..I am a Quincy, just like my brother, however, no matter how much I hate shinigamis, I am trying to reach soul society so we can obtain a status and an alliance with the shinigami...I just can’t hate you..because I would have to shoot myself for not being able to respect my honor as a Quincy...”
    Yuka kneeled to the ground, and started crying
    I got near Yuka, Hayato charged at me I didn’t care, I just turned back and kicked him in the gut, pushing him away. I kneeled in front of Yuka, and helped her up, while hugging her
    “You don’t need to dishonour your clan, if it must be, kill me, the only things I have in this world are You, my dad, the Justice League. Rick would do a great leader without me, so would your brother, my dad can certainly manage without me, he’d go back to soul society.” I said to her, with a very calm tone
    “Ryuhi...I can’t...imagine..my life without you..” She said, crying her heart out
    I felt Yuka’s pain, she was shaking in my arms, barely able to hold herself together, her brother’s acts were constantly worrying her, because he wished for the eradication of all shinigami
    Yuka kissed me, but this time, I felt it was more genuine than when we’re at school, or when we’re in front of people, because we’re at the mall or something like that. This time, it was truly meaningful of love...
    “Ryuhi, please, help my brother”
    “I will, as I have been doing ever since I met him”
    “He doesn’t know..that Uryuu and Ryuuken still live...” She whispered to me, to make sure that Hayato wasn’t hearing
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    Post by Hinamori44 Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:52 pm

    She is a Quincy??? O_o...wow :D...Great chapter...waiting for another one :P /again/ XD
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    Post by Guest Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:06 pm

    Chapter 9 : Savior
    “Dad, what is the point in this training, I just can’t get it, are you trying to kill me ??”
    “Shut up, Ryu, I’m aware of the difficuly of this training, but if you want to defeat this Quincy kid as a shinigami, you’ll need to improve, cause right now, I’d say you pretty much suck.”
    “How can I improve, dammit Dad, you’Re just slashing at me with everything you’ve got, are you expecting me to bind you like the captain did to Hayato?”
    “Actually, I’m waiting for you to realize that your sword is calling you”
    “Calling? Now that you mention it, I’ve been hearing a voice trying to reach me for a while now.”
    “Dumbass..he can’t even realize that his reiatsu is bigger because of his sword, he’s even more of a retard that this Ichigo kid was”
    “Dammit Ryuhi, just focus and listen to the Call, you’re partner is reaching out for you”
    All of a sudden, everything became white. It looked like I was in my mind, I saw the Dragon King, The Justice Lady, as Well as a big Shadow that I couldn’t see fully yet.
    “We meet again Ryuhi” The Dragon King said
    “Yes, your highness” I said, while kneeling down to him
    “You have grown up since I last saw you. You have become a splendid martial artist, feared across his country, for winning the national championship without even breaking a sweat, you have also acquired the spirit of justice, which completes itself very well with the spirit of the Dragon”
    “I’m relieved to see it pleases you”
    “It seems you also possess shinigami powers, which are about to add themselves to your already splendid combination”
    “What do you mean, add themselves? I don’t understand that part”
    “Ryuhi, the reason why you have a great hand-to-hand combat technique is due to the fact that our powers combined into one, basically, you can add a justice tech while in dragon mode”
    “I can do that?? Good thing to learn, but what are my shinigami powers going to do in this”
    “Basically, you’re hand to hand combat will be composed of our techniques, so once you’ll have mastered the synergy of our powers, you’ll make a great shinigami, and an unbeatable human, however, to accept possessing three spirits in your own spirit, you must defend justice at all times, else justice lady will drop out and leave us be”
    “That’s the only path I have ever defended, am defending, will always defend, even at the cost of my life”
    “Then hear my name Ryuhi, I’m Hiryuu (Japanese for Wyvern : a Wyvern is a small dragon, usually three times the size of a human, which is tiny compared to dragons), I can take you to great heights, together, we will show justice to the world”
    “Then let’s start now, fly to greater heights” I said, exiting my inner world
    My dad saw me, down. I apparently passed out while in my inner world
    “Cmon Ryuhi, show it to me, your shikai. I know you have it, I want to see it now”
    “You’ll see how serious I can get Dad, I can’T control this yet, so I hope you can immobilize me if some event occurs”
    “Toru Kare no atama, Hiryuu” (Litterally: Take his head, Wyvern)

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