Lost In The Rain

Hazama wandered through the area around 3rd Division, he could never get use to rain.  He usually found himself wandering around when he couldn't sleep. The nights nightmare still fresh in his mind looking down at his Zanpakuto, he runs his fingers across the handle and smiles.. 

Well at least I have you, my faithful companion

Hazama paused waiting to see if he could hear a voice, anything from the Zanpakuto.  After a few minutes of hearing nothing but rain, he sighed and continued to walk around.  Hazama could barely see the man who walked up from his side, grabbing his zanpakuto he swung and nothing but shadows and rain drops were there.

Im starting to lose it here, maybe I should head back

Hazama turned around and headed back toward where 3rd Division barracks should be.

From a distance in the midst of the rain a small voice rand around him. "Maybe it's cause you drank too much of this acidic rain" Suddenly something from the sky. A tiny cloaked figures jumped down from a building and landed in the ground. An umbrella on her back and goggles that took up half her face she was able to let out a small smile. "But you know better then that don't you? You are my soldier"

Laughing her large and black dog also in a cloak and goggles ran up beside her. A dog that was the twice the size of her barked in a friendly matter. "Keep your cloak on tight, the acidity just keeps getting stronger by the day. And you can get lost easy if you lose your way"

Stumbling slightly by the appearance of his captain, Hazama bowed and tightened his cloak.

Captain, I know I shouldn't be out here. The nightmares haunt me, sometimes I wish I could get lost so they can't find me. Also it's not the rain ive been drinking captain

Walking closer to Captain Aki, he bows deeply..

also captain aki I am lost...can you help me back toward the barracks?

Aki ran up to him and held his hand smiling. She although being short then him she grabbed her umbrella and opened it above them. Slowly walking she led him to where the rain was lighter and where the barracks were. "Don't worry about it, you can be anywhere you want to be, I just don't want you to suddenly lose your way and get lost. Some areas have gotten more dangerous then others, only the higher ranks can go there now."

She led him into one of the buildings and closed the umbrella. She put down her hood and lifted her goggles. "The rain can't hide you from the nightmares. We are fearless. Remember that." Reaching into her pockets she takes out a small rabbit keychain and hands it to him. "Here, some like to believe a charm will help them. So keep this one for now."

Taking the charm in hand, he looked it over and smiled.

thank you captain. I hope this helps

Bowing deeply Hazama tucked the charm into his robes and started to walk away then he stopped. Hazama walked back toward Captain Aki and bowing again looked toward her.

Captain can I ask you a question? Have you ever experienced fear? I mean true fear

Seeing him walk away Aki smiled. And as she was about to put on her goggles once more she stopped at the sudden question. She sat leaned against the window in the building and smiled. She would usually give out a half hearted joke as an answer. But to her fellow mate, this was a serious question. She stayed silent for a minute before speaking.

"No. I haven't. But I have experienced fear. The fear of losing. Losing my life, and the fear of losing someone close to me. When I lost my arm I knew for once the fear of losing my life. And when the unknown attacked I had the fear of losing my division member. And in the real world, losing myself. But to me, there is no true fear. And you know why? Because true fear means there is weakness in you."

She walked over to him and punched him lightly in the heart. "No matter what, there is no true fear. Although true fear may exist. Don't let it be conscious. Because that fear is someones weapon against you, and even a weapon against yourself." She let out a laugh to reassure him.

Relaxing slightly by his captain's words of wisdom, Hazama stood in front of his captain thinking of how lucky he is that his captain cares as much as she does. At the same time not expecting her to punch him.

Captain can you tell you something? it's something I've never told anyone, personally I don't know why I'm telling you maybe it's the alcohol but I need you to understand

Taking his cloak off hazama straightened himself up then stood across from Captain Aki.

Captain I have this reoccurring nightmare were im being chased by a man engulfed in flames. I am powerless to do anything, im frightened so I do the only thing I can do I run but everything burns.

Petting her dog she stared at the leaking ceiling and then looked back at him with an smirk. "I studied dream reading once. I never really learned anything in the end. But you know. Through a lot of sleep i realized, hey! I like night mares." In a way she seemed to not really answer his question but just tell a story of her past. "Nightmares make me feel alive, cause although I'm drenched with cold sweat when I wake up, the sudden feel of my heart racing makes me feel alive... well as alive as a shinigami can be."

"Fear lives with us, we can't avoid it. But we can take it upon our hands." She raised her hand up and made a ice crystal in her hand. "My zanpaktou's element is ice, so from the beginning I hate fire. I hate heat and summer in general. Fire is destructive but it is also life. I can't say much but to conquer your dreams and use its power. You never know, that man of fire just might be you. " She smled again smiling with small slit eyes.

[im taking off for the night but i'll respond in the morning or so.]

Seeing the ice form in his captain's hand hazama was taken aback by the display of power.

I never thought of that, but the man says I failed him. Could it mean that I failed myself? Or my zanpakuto?  

Hazama trailed off and started thinking about his nightmares, what his captain said and his zanpakuto.

Captain if this is from inside me or is me, how can I defeat? How can I control it? Is there anything you can show me?  

Aki put on a grim expression trying to think of a solution. She's helped a lot of divisioners seep into their sub conscious to talk to their zanpaktou, mostly to awaken it. It's harder to solve a problem like this, especially since she has no idea what it even is. It could just be a reoccurring nightmare for all she knows. Her face then lit up a bit at maybe what could be a possible solution.

"I'm no scientist, and to be frank I hate the 12th division as a whole. But there is one thing we could try. Usually I would say to just meditate hard enough till you dug deep enough to be able to talk to your inner self. But in your case its a dream. I have the ability to bring ones nightmare into life. Well more of an illusion though. But if you see the illusion you might bring out the fear within yourself."

She took out her umbrella once more but this time the umbrella started to wilt away into liquid form to reveal a sword. Her zanpaktou. "In other words, make the illusion of your dream. And the fear of your nightmare will help bring out the subconscious thoughts into the illusion so you'll be able to confront your nightmare. Cause it seems in your dreams you just seem to want to wake up to avoid it. The illusion will avoid disrupting the dream."

Hazama was curious where she kept her zanpakuto but the idea of bringing his nightmares into the real world made Hazama break out into a cold sweat, his voice began to crack.  

C...Captain do you think I can handle that? Im barely able handle it in my dreams. If you believe that I can handle it, I will do it. Show me how and what I must do

Hazama stood mentally preparing himself to face his fears, running his hand across both handles of his zanpakuto he exhaled deeply.  Hazama stared down at his zanpakuto wishing he could communicate with the spirit he hoped reside inside.

Captain before you begin can you answer one more question for me?  what is it like to communicate with your zanpakuto?

She unsheathed her sword and slashed it in the air a few times taking a look at the blade. "Fear is a powerful tool, with it you just might be able to. If you can't. I can just stop the illusion. But if the illusion stops but your mind doesn't thats a whole other story. But don't worry. Talking to your inner self is easy."

"Transcend, Seijuro " As she released her zanpaktou a cool breeze stepped over them. the air around them became instantly cold and the rain even began to seem like snow. "To communicate with your zanpaktou is different with everyone. Some are more demanding where they use it just as their power, or just a companion. My zanpaktou to me, Seijuro is a part of me, and without it I am nothing. Now come here, I have to cut you in order for this to work."

Hazama watched his captain draw and slash at the air with her zanpakuto. Listening to the words his captain said, he felt the cold.

a zanpakuto as a part of yourself, thank you captain. I can only hope that by the time I can hear my Zanpakuto that it'll be same.

Hazama prepared himself to be cut by his captain, every ounce of his being warned him not to but he needed to do this, even if it gave him one night away from the nightmares.

I am ready captain

Hazama rolled his left sleeve up and held out his left arm.

"Alright then." She drew her sythe shaped sword and made a small cut on his arm. Although small the blood still dripped down onto the floor. Washed away by the water that dripped from the leaking ceiling. She backed away a bit and whispered, "Knightmare" For a moment everything seemed fine. But in an instant darkness engulfed him.

Although Aki could see him, he couldn't see her. She merely looked at him as the illusion should come to him, the man on fire. She didn't say a word but only watched as from here on out, this was his time to face what he feared.

Hazama heard the words of his captain fade away as he was engulfed in darkness. There was nothing around him just the darkness, Hazama reached for his swords, breathing out as his hands embraced the handles of his zanpakuto.

at these are still here, my zanpakuto, my weapons

Then a scratchy voice almost at a whisper interrupted his thoughts.

hhhhazama......hhhhhazama

Panicking Hazama reached for his zanpakuto drawing them he stood there listening, searching for what he knew would appear next. Then the voice got louder more angry and he could see the light.

HAZAMA.....HAZAMA....YOU FAILED ME HAZAMA

Standing still frozen partly by fear Hazama waited, he could see the man who haunted his dreams walking toward him slowly. The closer the man got the louder his voice became, Hazama started to panic stepping backward slightly, then steeling himself he yells....

MY NAME IS HAZAMA SHINROKU MITSUKAZE, I AM A SHINIGAMI OF 3RD DIVISION. I WILL NOT FALTER

The man still approached him, his voice calling out. Hazama could see him clearly now barely being able to feel the fire from his body. Hazama stared the flaming man down and rushed toward him swinging both swords at the being of his nightmares, the swords passed right threw him. Hazama backed up and swung again and again, continuing to back away from the flaming man, each strike passing harmlessly threw the him. The man continued to taunt Hazama reminding him of his failure, his arms outstretched reaching for Hazama. Panicked Hazama continues to strike at the man, finally tripping over some unseen thing his zanpakuto falling out of his reach. Hazama crawling backward on the ground the flaming man grabbing his fallen zanpakuto pointing them at Hazama.

YOU THINK THAT THESE WILL HURT ME HAZAMA, THESE ARE NOTHING TO ME.....YOU FAILED ME HAZAMA AND YET YOU STILL CAN'T REMEMBER WHY

raising the swords above his head in a striking manner, the man starts laughing as Hazama yells....

CAPTAIN AKI !!!

She only stared at Hazama as he first seemed at peace and ready for whatever may come. And even confident in his words. But as the flaming man approached closer and closer Hazama lost himself in fear and could not confront his nightmare. Not even in the closest. Although it was just an illusion it seemed real to Hazama. And in a way. His fear made this real. As he yelled her name she did not appear before him or even moved an inch from where she stood. The only difference that happened was that the flaming man was now frozen at the feet. Unable to move. Every part of him still in flames but his feet. Stuck in a ice that never melted from his heat.

As Hazama still couldn't see Aki she only firmly shouted at him. "Hazama! Confront him! Nothing will change if you fight or run!"

Hazama recoiled waiting for the blow to strike him down, he felt something cold by his feet looking up he say the man frozen in place, his body still ablaze with the exception of his feet. Hazama swore he could hear his captains voice but all heard was fight or run, his heartbeat thumping so loud that it cut out was being said.
Hazama realizing that his captain was still there, outside of this illusion rolled to the side and stood up.

My captain is here, but she can't not help me...you are my demon to face. My name is Hazama Shinroku Mitsukaze, I am a warrior, I am a shinigami and you will not haunt me. I.....I will defeat you

Hazama lunged for his Zanpakuto, the fire off of the man wrapping around his wrists while his hands wrapped and the familiar handles of his zanpakuto and peeled off to face the man again. Hazama sheathing his zanpakuto he looked at the man, slowing his breathing and centering himself Hazama ran toward the man diving into the flames that surrounded him. Hazama passed right threw him the flames and the man disappearing, Hazama landed on the other side with tears falling from his face.

Lord Asano....how could I forget? but who was that with him? Captain I think i'm done here

The darkness started to fade immediatly. Revealing the captain holding the sword as it went back into its umbrella form. Returning to her back she ran over to Hazama and handed him a hankerchief. She smiled and saw that he finished what he needed to do. It didn't seem it was something with his zanpaktou at all. More over a past event. That has haunted him till now.

"So, have you found you answer? This Lord Asano. Is he at peace?"

Taking the handkerchief, he wiped his eyes and looked at his captain.

yes captain I believe he is, there was something strange though he wasn't alone. There was another person there, I saw him or her when I passed through Lord Asano. It looked at me like I was being tested.

Standing up and making himself presentable, he looked toward Captain Aki.

do you think it could be my zanpakuto? Or could it be something to take Lord Asano's place?

Sitting on the floor she merely stared at hazama. She didnt even know who this Asano man was. Though he seemed to be very linked and strongly bonded him. Especially since he is the cause of the nightmares in the first place. But it aas more of a message left to him rather then a simple dream. If it was memory it might be just more then a simple inner look at himself. For now at least she was happy to seem eased of the man on fire but now concerned for this asano. Whoever he was he seemed important to hazama.

"So whos this asano anyways I mean. What even hapened there. It sopped being an illusion of a bad dream and started to take the ahape of a message of memory"

Lord Asano, I was one of his retainers. My brothers and I served him in life, he was betrayed by another noble who he considered a friend. The crest on my back is his, but my Lord was forced to commit seppuku. My brothers and I were forbidden to to follow him, so we waited and took our revenge on his "friend"

Hazama walked in a small circle, thinking on what occurred.

I would understand him being in my dreams, the guilt of not protecting him but the flames I don't understand. This is the first time I was able to stand my ground and fight back, but it was only after I heard your voice captain

Bowing deeply, Hazama continued

thank you captain, but I'm still confused on who the other person was. I honestly am not sure what happened in the illusion. Have you seen anything like that before?

"Don't bow so much, I'm not into all that formal stuff."

Slightly concerned she thought about it. But not to worry him she merely smiled. Although in the middle his subconsious took over the illusion she felt it was best not to mention it. Since in the end it went back to being a illusion. This past could maybe be a sign toward him growing his power. Who can say. Nothing is ever certain.

"Who knows what it could be. But it'll probably important that you discover what it is. The flames though, maybe it'll be your power." She then laughed a bit before speaking again. "In my illusions they merely bring a persons nightmare to life. Nothing more, nothing less."

standing up hazama looked at his captain, slightly embarrassed by his actions and by his captain's comment.

im sorry captain, its habit. Ill take this experience to heart, when I'm ready if its ok maybe ill come to you to help me find the truth of my power

almost bowing hazama nods his head instead, reaching out to touch Captain Aki's hand.

thank you captain, It there anything else you can show me?

"Well I think this is enough for self discovery. Besides I can't show you anymore then what you probably already know." She started to pull out a small bag from under her haori. She took out a thermo looking bottle and two cups. "Why not have some tea? They'll help you relax."

She sat down on the ground with her dog resting by her side, she poured two cups of tea still steaming hot and gave one cup to Hazama. "How do you like the third so far? Kind of depressing right? THat's why not many shinigami enlist.... or ... visit really. heh. " She laughed and took a small sip. "The ones that do kind of quit early so I hope you survive here. "

taking the tea cup in hand, Hazama sat down slowly sipping the tea. The hot liquid calming his nerves and relaxing his body.

Thank you for the tea Captain, so far its not too bad here. I do not enjoy the rain but I love the sound of it. I hope to be here for awhile

Hazama sat drinking his tea thinking of the events that lead him here, smiling slightly he looked at Captain Aki...

Captain, how long have you been here?